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Chantelle and Chris’s story is one of love and connection and contribution. They have both been through difficult times in their life and have, together, begun to shape their good lives with great support from Beyond Limits, a small supports organisation. Their story also reveals another reality, all-too common in the lives of people who rely on social care support. This is the shadow story of ‘care less’ support, and how it impacts people’s lives. Chantelle powerfully recollects the rootlessness she experienced as she was ‘moved around’ the care system as a child and adult. Chris talks about repeatedly being let down by support that just failed to turn up and how this impacted his plans.
Their stories clearly illustrate the difference good support can make. Not just to the individuals receiving the support but also to families, to support teams and the wider community. They are also a powerful reminder that great support focusses on the important things, fostering relationships, supporting and treating people with dignity and respect. Ultimately, creating the environment for human flourishing to happen.
Chantelle and Chris' Story
Growing Together
Growing Together
Introductions
We met in a community café where Chantelle and Chris both work. In fact, Chantelle was working the day we had the conversation, so we had to squeeze our discussion in during her lunchbreak.
Support Before
Chantelle spent her childhood in the care system, foster care, secure settings moving on in adult social care to residential care until she moved to her own home. She talks about some places where she felt scared. It is important to recognise that the care system itself can harm people.
The Importance Of Relationships
Chantelle talks about Carlene, a member of her team who moved with her when she left the residential care unit to move into her own home. This long-standing relationship is of great value to Chantelle. She talks about Carlene seeing her grow up.
Chantelle also talks very honestly about how scared she was when she first moved into her own home, and that she was fearful about going out on her own.
One of the ways she overcame this fear was to volunteer in a local community café helping homeless people. This was before working in the café where we met.
Chantelle met Chris through their voluntary work in the café. This where Chris first invited her out on a date by writing her a letter.
Chris’s family has also welcomed Chantelle and they have gone on holiday together. According to Chantelle, Chris’s family make her ‘feel special.’
Something Changed, What was it?
It is important to note that the thing that made the difference to Chantelle is all the relationships she has now.
The opportunity to work and to help others has been a significant aspect of Chantelle leading a life of meaning and purpose. And the opportunity to meet Chris.
Introducing Chris
Chris has issues with his memory resulting from brain damage and needs some prompts to recall some aspects of his life. Chantelle is excellent at providing that support.
Chris was supported by another organisation.
He chose to change his support organisation because he was fed up with the way they were treating him. Chantelle told Chris about Beyond Limits as she thought he deserved better support.
Chris and Chantelle describe what bad support looks like. Sometimes Chris’s support would just not turn up and that meant he couldn’t do what he had planned to do, meeting Chantelle, going to his work. He would have to stay at home and his mum would support him. This also meant that her plans for the day had to change. Poor support was getting in the way of Chris and Chantelle developing their relationship.
Connections
Chantelle and Chris’s engagement party was held in her local pub. 40+ friends and family came dressed for their 80’s themed event. Chantelle who moved around a lot and yet has managed to establish a network of people and places where she and Chris feel safe and welcome.
Ambitions And Dreams For The Future
Chantelle and Chris’s ambitions for the future are theirs for the making. They will decide what they want to do, and they will get the support they need to make this happen. Their support will evolve as their lives change.
Growing Together
Being Part Of Something Bigger
Chris’s family have welcomed Chantelle and made her feel part of the family. Chris and Chantelle were colleagues working in the café before they became boyfriend and girlfriend. They are now engaged.
All these positive life changes came about because they were both able to pursue their interests and ambitions as a result of receiving good, reliable, thoughtful support.
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